Do you know where you’re going to?
A smart question indeed.
The answer might simply be: yes, no, maybe…
Let us consider “maybe” for a while.
Now what does “maybe” mean, and what can it refer to?
The answer might also simply be: “I am not sure”, or “I don’t know” etc…
Ok, too much questions at a time, no?
A flight delay of three (3) hours makes you think, re-think, wonder and re-wonder…
Do we get answers to “unquestioned” questions?
So we think and wonder?
…But think of what?
Boredom? Dissatisfaction? Nothingness?
Got it! I think it is “nothingness”,
But the question again, what does “nothingness” mean or refer to?
Now that’s getting smart(er) eh?
When we think of “nothingness” there definitely should be “everythingness”.
Quite logical eh? For emptiness to exist, there should be fullness…quite the opposite…and opposites attract.
Ok, back to to “nothingness” and to “thinking of nothingness”.
“Thinking of nothingness”, in a situation similar to the one I mentioned above (i.e. flight delay), we wonder and think: “could such a delay change our world, our destiny, our “life itinerary”, our existence, our “everythingness”…?
So we wonder and speculate, and “all” we see are “other strangers” – so much like us – waiting in queue.
Waiting for checking in, but definitely also waiting for “time”.
Emmm… waiting for time.
Now how’s that?
Isn’t “time” coming and passing by anyway?
Or does it “maybe” just cease and stop?
Well, think twice and think well what “time” could also mean – apart from hours, minutes, seconds…
We definitely all have our own perception of “time”…so the meaning of “time” is an open book, a horizon we think we “see” its ending skyline…just any image that clicks…
So we actually do “see” “time”…
I’d simply say we could, couldn’t we?
If we can “see” sunset, moonlight etc… then we definitely “see””time” too!
I personally cannot but agree…at least with myself.
“Nothingness”, “time”…so many things mentioned already…
Bear with me yet another set of questions: am I getting anywhere with this?
To answer my own thoughts, I’d say: I surely went and got a few pages forward.
Oh excuse me, going forward in lines and pages does not imply going anywhere in thoughts does it, or does it not?
I certainly am not confused, I am neither bored, I am just….
I am just…
…”nothing” and “nothingness”…
A powerless so-called intelligent being, wondering, thinking and, “matter-of-factly”, talking (of wondering and thinking).
Wondering;
How do sheep feel awaiting a shepherd leading them anywhere?
Tough new question…
I cannot possibly answer that since I have never been a sheep.
I am just sheep-acting, yet not knowing how to act….but feeling disoriented, manipulated, used, misused,…you name it…
So if sheep just wait to be lead, do they, too, fee this disorientation, dissatisfaction, boredom, “time”, nothingness…?
Do sheep just content and surrender to live with a certain fact or situation? Do sheep abide by the “random rules, decisions and situations” just like that?
…I really wonder, “maybe” with some amazement I’d say.
“Nothingness”…strangeness, weirdness, discomfort, alienation…all come to head…
Nothing is therefore “nothing but everything”… and therefore “nothing” and “everything” meet, act, react, interact, intersect, merge and blend to form a unique unity…
Getting more interesting eh?
Strangers, strangeness, queues, waiting…
Yea! Got it…it has always been so close that I never took the time to see it before….
…I am but a traveler, a stranger among strangers, waiting aboard…somehow, sometime, somewhere…
…Waiting for a plane, a take-off, a departure, a flight, a trip that will take me somewhere…
…waiting for time…
…waiting, even more specifically, to see and perceive time…
We therefore surrender to the fact that there “has to be this or that situation” (in this example the delay), we “think” and “want to believe” we have no other option…
Do we really have no option, or is it so we think?
I believe, indeed am sure and positive, we do have other choices…
Yet…
I think we all need to sheep-act, just to break our daily life routine, and stop acting leaders for a while.
But…
Are we leaders?
Can we, “we” intelligent beings, be both the sheep and the shepherd, all at the same time?
Yin and yang?
Positive and negative?
Nothing and everything?
“Nothingness” and “Everythingness”…
Can we really be all that, all at the same time…can we, but how?
Indeed, why can we not?
Aren’t we “intelligent” (or so do we put it)?
Aren’t we therefore able to be “anything” we want to be…
…”anything” being this unique blend of “nothingness” and “everythingness” I mentioned before?
Ok, this is getting serious, indeed quite serious…
Anything could have caused this situation (i.e. delay), and logically everything could have made us decide to “wait” bearing all other consequences…
For some reason we wait, we want to wait, we want to “be lead”, we want to be the sheep…
…and “time” seems to have no meaning, no scale, no measure, no shape, no sunset, no moonlight…
…because “time” becomes us, with both our “nothingness’ and “everythingness”…
…”time” becomes what we want to “see” and “perceive”,
…“time” becomes an image we want to draw, feel and touch…
Therefore
…”time” not only becomes intelligent…
…since we are supposing that “time becomes us” – :us” being “intelligent beings”…
…but also “yin and yang”,,,
…”sheep and shepherd”…
…time” is that intelligent being…no math…
No,
I am not randomly throwing absurd random thoughts in an absurd random order…
…I am not turning round…
…I am not even turning around…
…and I am definitely not making a short story longer… (or am I?)
And finally;
Talking of stories, this is nothing but a preface, an introduction…
Thank you for your “intelligent time”!
Ammar Ouwaida
Written: 08-01-2010 (11: PM Montreal local time)
Typed: 10-01-2010 (05: AM Beirut local time)
(for “time is precious”)